I was exhausted. Tired and energetic. I was thinking several times about what to do or not. I decided, and I broke my plan. But one thing I knew was that I loved to write. But surprisingly, I can’t write. I used to, but now I can’t. Why? I gave it a thought. Then I realized: I am overwhelmed. I want to do everything for everyone! It is the thing that was killing my inner inspiration for writing.
Today I planned to write and do a lot of work. But I could not. I had to take my daughter to the GP and take an online class. Before then, I ate my food and prepared my husband’s lunch box. Then I prepared my daughter’s breakfast. Now I sat for writing, but I don’t know what to write. I love my family. I am telling this because I was thinking about that. I am not complaining about this. I just want to say why I can’t write. But my brain is empty now. I know how to grow a daily writing habit: write every day, be focused, write anything you want, don’t edit too much, and publish. But what about then? I know everything, but I can’t apply it. How do I solve the problem? This dilemma? I don’t want to be a boring writer. I want to share my story. I love to read other people’s stories as well. I read a lot of books. I have many ideas. But again, my writing is boring. Why? I am not asking anyone. I know the answer, but even my brain wants to ask this question. I know what the solution is, but I can’t apply it. I tried. I didn’t try. I know everything. I know it’s my problem. Silly me!
Okay, no more. Now I will write my story.
I am Silvi. No! It’s not my real name. I am just using this name. It just came to my mind now. How is that name? I liked it. So, I am Silvi. I like to be a free bird. This morning was really nice because nothing bad happened. Everything was alright as it was supposed to be.
I want to share one thing with everyone: I was looking for a job or a career that would establish my status. But once upon a time, when I was a kid, I used to laugh at those who were eager to earn money. But now I know how important that is.
After that, I tried to start a business of my own. But I failed. Everyone told me to go the traditional way. I did not like the idea. Again, I was wrong. Probably, I needed to listen to them. I broke again. I sat at my table thinking about my future. I thought others were right. I needed to change my path.
But suddenly, one day, I changed my mind again. What did I do? Here is the twist. I did nothing. Silly me again! I became an entrepreneur. But how? I need to start from scratch. I need to settle my mind. I hope that I will be able to share my twisted path with you all. Even if I can. I can’t guarantee myself when I will be back on my paper. But I will try.
– Silvia Silvi